some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
