fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
two words...techno handjob
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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