That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
