So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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