I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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