I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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