i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
