She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
