That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She told me I should be a condom model.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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