I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
