I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
