he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
false alarm, still single
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