Im at strip club and am horny
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
