physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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