No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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