What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
