it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
