Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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