turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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