just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
