is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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