I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
