can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
