There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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