just come out here and I will go home with you...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
