So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
