hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
