I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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