and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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