I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
third nipple confirmed
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize