im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
