She tied me up with her honor cords...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
