The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
