I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
