I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
