All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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