All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
