i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
