I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dear god my vagina.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
