I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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