no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
