ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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