turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
This show inspires me to have sex in space
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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