what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
