its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
