a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
