i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
