Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
