i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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