It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
