Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
