I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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